Monique Dietvorst became an advocate for fathers’ rights after witnessing the struggles men face in a society that often ignores their pain
An Alberta IT specialist, Monique Dietvorst, has become an advocate for fathers’ rights after hearing countless stories of their suffering.
Dietvorst, who works as a technical writer in STEM fields, primarily in software, began researching men’s rights and discovered a very different narrative than what she had previously been exposed to. “I just saw the reality, working with men all the time,” she explained to the Western Standard. “The stress … drives men to suicide. About 75 to 80 percent of suicides are male. You can see them break down, and if they do get through it, they never want to think about it again because it’s so traumatizing.”
Dietvorst looked deeper into the issue and discovered the Canadian Association For Equality (CAFE). With the organization’s help, she sponsored a University of Calgary screening of The Red Pill, a documentary by feminist filmmaker Cassie Jaye, which explores men’s rights issues and recognizes their legitimacy. However, after facing significant backlash and what Dietvorst described as “cancel culture,” the university event was cancelled. In response, Fathers Rights Alberta stepped in and hosted an off-campus screening instead.
“When I was in university, I was told that men’s rights activists are misogynists. They’re pro-rape and everything that you could think of to scare the hell out of me,” Dietvorst recalled. But as she learned more, she realized, “They want equal services for men as victims of domestic violence and sexual assault. I had been brainwashed into not seeing these issues that were going on.”
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She became deeply concerned about the damage men experience in family courts and decided to advocate for fathers’ rights. “(These men) were so damaged that I decided to fight because there’s no one else doing it.”
Books like The Boy Crisis reinforced her belief that fathers are crucial in children’s lives. “Fatherlessness is rooted in poverty; it leads to crime,” she said. “Alienation is part of it. All these boys grow up to be part of gangs. And all the ISIS recruits and all the school shooters, they’re all raised by single mothers, almost all of them.”
Dietvorst also highlighted that some academic literature suggests parental alienation causes identity confusion in children. “When you’re telling a child that part of their family, that half of their identity is garbage and damaged, then they have like a void, and they feel traumatized. They don’t know how to make sense of themselves.”
She criticized the rising trend of sterilizing children who identify as non-traditional genders, pointing out that children who think they’re a unicorn gender or a dragon gender shouldn’t be given drugs. “If you’re an adult, and you want to transition, that isn’t of my business, but if you’re a traumatized kid and you think you’re a unicorn gender, you probably shouldn’t be giving them these drugs.” Kids, she said, don’t understand the consequences.
Unicorn gender refers to a gender identity that’s unique or outside the usual male or female categories. Dragon gender is similar, representing a non-binary or alternative identity, using the symbol of a dragon to show strength or individuality.
Dietvorst started the non-profit Canadian Child Protection from Alienation Foundation to try to deal with the problem. She said documentaries like Erasing Family demonstrate how lawyers have an interest in keeping the family law system contentious. She believes parents who split should have shared custody by default, as in Sweden. “That’s actually what’s best for the kids, not financially, emotionally destroying parents – that doesn’t help,” she said.
For fathers seeking support, she recommends the Canadian Centre for Men and Families, which opened a shelter for battered men and children in Toronto in 2014. However, she warns that feminist organizations, including the National Association for Women in Law, are pushing to make any argument about parental alienation inadmissible in family court.
“I don’t think you should underestimate the power and the influence of the special interest groups because most people don’t know anything about this at all. And we have to start really pulling them in,” Dietvorst said.
Those interested in more information on Fathers’ Rights can watch Dietvorst’s June YouTube appearance on the Tammy Peterson podcast.
Lee Harding is a Research Associate for the Frontier Centre for Public Policy.
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