Humblebragging might boost your ego, but it can quietly wound those struggling to stay afloat
2025 has been, to put it mildly, chaotic. The year has been a continuation of technological disruption and its social consequences, alongside the ongoing effects of climate change and global instability, all of which impact us.
Against this backdrop, one behaviour stands out as especially tone-deaf and harmful: the growing culture of social-media bragging and humblebragging.
If I were the supreme ruler of all things social media, I’d take inspiration from the government’s requirement that cigarette packages and advertisements display prominent health-risk warnings about the harmful effects of smoking by mandating a visible warning before logging on to any social-media site, when posting or commenting. It’s worth considering why such a warning feels appropriate.
Spend a few minutes browsing your social feeds, and you’ll find countless examples of humblebragging. You’ll see posts from family, friends, work colleagues and acquaintances starting with “humbled by,” “thrilled at,” “honoured by,” and the like, followed by announcements of a new position or achievement. Such posts are little more than a façade of modesty, acting humble after achieving success.
While humblebragging is prevalent on social-media sites, a close second in prevalence is overt bragging, with people using social media to openly brag about their latest vacation, house purchase, new car or expensive restaurant meal. Social media has made self-promotion more convenient than ever; consequently, we’ve turned ourselves into narcissists en masse.
It’s understandable to feel that if you don’t brag, you risk being ignored or forgotten—the ultimate social-media failure. Nonetheless, consider how posting “Look at me! I’m in Aruba!” or “Look at the steak dinner I’m having at La Tête d’Or” or “Check out me and my friends at the Bruno Mars concert” might affect those who don’t have the financial privilege you have, a privilege that can rapidly vanish with a hike in interest rates or a meeting invite from Human Resources.
While feeling proud of one’s accomplishments is normal, it takes on a different tone when you intentionally craft a post to highlight what you have or what you can afford, or put it on credit to make it look as though you can afford it. Let’s be honest: when someone posts to humblebrag or overtly brag, their aim isn’t to spread happiness but to evoke envy and seek admiration and approval from others, many of whom are strangers.
As more people fall through the cracks, a philosophical question arises: To what extent are you responsible for your actions on social media and their effects on others? If you knew that posting a photo of you leaning against your new car could make those without the means to buy a new car feel depressed or inadequate, would you still post the photo?
Is it necessary for the world, especially those who are unemployed or worried about their jobs, to know that you and your family are spending Christmas at Disneyland? Are you posting to inform your followers, most of whom are strangers, or are you posting to brag about what you have that they may not have? These moments reveal how quickly sharing turns into comparison.
Whether it’s the holiday season or not, bragging on social media has transformed social platforms from spaces of community into arenas of competition.
Think about parents who, because of persistent inflation, are struggling to make ends meet and can’t make Christmas magical for their children. Consider those who have been laid off and are navigating a fiercely competitive job market, or those who are worried about their jobs.
Of course, you’re entitled to post whatever you want; it’s the World Wide Web, after all. However, in the spirit of human empathy, consider toning down your online bragging this holiday season. Appreciate what you have without posting, “Look at what I have!” or “Look at what I can do!” Now is a good time to cultivate quiet happiness and thankfulness.
Unless there’s a compelling reason, there’s no need this holiday season to post what many others don’t have.
Nick Kossovan is a self-described connoisseur of human psychology.
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